- Americký turistický průvodce popisuje Česko - řídí, jako šílenci a jsou posedlí sexem

13. května 2013 v 17:45 | Lena |  - Jsem Patriot

Následující dokument představuje výňatek překladu jednoho amerického turistického průvodce,
ve kterém je popsána specifikace České republiky společně s jejími obyvateli.
Jelikož o obyvatelích USA je všeobecně znám fakt, že velká část z nich nejenže neví, kde naše země leží, ale mnohým není známo ani to, že nějaká Česká republika existuje. Velmi často si nás také pletou s Čečenci. Což je poměrně značný rozdíl...


Konkrétní průvodce, kterého se tento dokument týká sice nebyl uveden, ovšem vzhledem k neinformovanosti američanů o naší zemi bych tomu vcelku i věřila. Každopádně, alespoň se pobavíte, jelikož, jako stát i občané nejsme popisováni zrovna příznivě a obávám se, že pokud si tyto reference nějaký americký obyvatel, který měl zájem Českou republiku navštívit přečte, vyděsí se, dostane osypky a naši zemi po toulkách Evropou bude obcházet obloukem... :)



Vyberte si verzi, která se Vám bude lépe číst





Původní, úplná verze zřejmě zde

Every year as the tourist season draws closer, one old, beyond belief, translation from an American tourist guide pops up. Not that many people know that the translation is the work of my friend Dean. Thanks to the Internet its authorship was claimed by many. But see for yourselves what they think about us across the big pond.

Czechland is a tiny country in Europe. It lies between Germany and Russia. It used to be almost twice as large, but in the last century several parts were chopped off from the east. It is an important member of the world community, but not as important as it thinks it is. It borders with Germany, Austria and also some other states, which are unimportant and where it is difficult to shop.

History
Czechland is a very old country with many gems, like Charles Bridge, Charles Square, Karlovy Vary and Karlštejn. Its contribution to western civilisation is beer and hockey. Czechs think they are a modern nation but they almost never use airconditioning and Americans can hardly ever fi nd a good Mexican diner there. Obviously, residents speak Czech although there are lots of people who can speak English if they can profi t from it.

People
Czechland only has a population as big as 3 districts of New York: City, Harlem and Brooklyn. However, it is extremely overcrowded; at least every 7 miles there is a village. Out of 10 mil. people, 9.5 mil. people drink or smoke. All Czechs drive like lunatics, are obsessed with sex and have no idea of discipline. Most religious Czechs are Christians, though considering their behaviour you would not think so. There are lots of communists.

Security
In general Czechland is considered to be a safe country but visitors should be aware that from time to time somebody invades and occupies it (Germans or Russians). Czechs traditionally surrender without delay. You must always watch your money. Origin of Czechs is uncertain. Some consider them to be Slavs, others to be descendants of Celts. There is Every year as the tourist season draws closer, one old, beyond belief, translation from an American tourist guide pops up. Not that many people know that the translation is the work of my friend Dean. Thanks to the Internet its authorship was claimed by many. But see for yourselves what they think about us across the big pond. a group of people who speak an entirely diff erent language but claim to be Czechs. The country has changed its regime and name several times. Today's Czechland is confused by people with Chechnya, which is located more eastward. The most famous Czechs were DubCzech, Koudysh (tennis), Hashek (hockey) and Hejvl (president).

Bottom Line...
The united States
- is not America, only a part of it in the north. Yet, they think they are a world power in economy, politics, culture and military force. The image is tainted somewhat by the ongoing global recession, a foreign policy evoking great emotion mainly in the Arabic world, the export of a mediocre film culture and unpopular military missions throughout the world. History - if an American archaeologist finds a hundred-year old Coca-Cola can, he is as excited as one in our country having discovered a spur of St. Wenceslas.
People - Americans think that the whole world should speak English like them, but English is spoken only by the English. Americans talk differently. If someone does not speak American, he is for them either Canadian, French or from somewhere like Kazakhstan. They drove the native inhabitants into reservations and replaced them with hardworking slaves from Africa. Slavery was abolished in the USA 145 years ago, i.e. 20 years after Europe got over feudalism.
Security - The United States is quite a secure destination, unless you work at the World Trade Centre, move in Area 51, hitchhike, swim or meet UFOs.
Origin - of Americans is even less clear than ours. They are a mixture of nations from all over the world often consisting of individuals with a bad reputation or criminal past. These laid the foundation stone of the present United States.
American's knowing so little about us is their problem and if they do not know where they are going and why, they should not go there! On the other hand I take my hat off to T. G. M., who had to "push forth" our independence in the country, which "knows so much about us".


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